Friday, 18 November 2011

New Episode 7: Déjà vu

I thought that this episode was already pretty concise, I didn't really change very much, just trimmed some of the fat! I think it reads better now.

New:
After a much longer than usual jump through space the ship arrives at another large blue star. The crew think that they haven't left the Rigel system and believe Noko has sabotaged the ship. SAI explains that they have in fact traveled almost 2000 lightyears to the blue supergiant Deneb and that energy reserves are rapidly recharging. The captain tells SAI to find all known blue stars and note their locations for future recharging, he apologizes to Noko for his crew and asks about the progress of the ship upgrades. Noko says that in order to complete his final upgrade he needs a material called zirconium. SAI informs them of a recently discovered zirconium star within safe jump distance. Noko says that if the ship can get close enough that he has a way to retrieve the substance and assures the captain that the upgrade will be worth the effort. The captain agrees, the engines power up and the ship blasts off to the zirconium star.

Old:
With the ship at it's new double energy maximum the captain has asked SAI to take the ship as far as safely possible. SAI has chosen the distant star Deneb, and after a much longer than usual flight the ship reaches it's destination. The star appears very similar to Rigel and the crew wonder why they are back there. SAI explains that they have actually traveled almost 2000 light years and they are now orbiting the blue supergiant Deneb, and that again the energy reserves are quickly on their way to maximum capacity again. The captain tells her to find all blue stars and note their locations, and to inform him when they need to recharge the ship. Noko enters the bridge saying that in order to complete his upgrades on the ship, he needs a material called Zirconium in order to reinforce the reactor, much more of it than the replicators are able to supply. SAI suggests that there is a recently discovered Zirconium star within safe traveling distance, Noko says that if the ship can get close enough he has a way of retrieving the substance, and assures the captain that the upgrade will be well worth the time. The captain agrees, the engines start up and they blast off to the Zirconium star.

No comments:

Post a Comment